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I have lived in southern California for forty years; I’m a vegetarian and drive a Prius. Yet I do not believe in ghosts, fairies, angels, reincarnation, astrology, spirits or their guides, EST, Scientology, or, less locally, God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Mohammed, psychotherapy (obviously) or any of the technologies found on a list seen in the window of the Mystic Journey Bookstore on Abbot Kinney Boulevard in Venice, California on 18 October 2009 and listed below. A quiet, yes, peaceful, Sunday morning walking on Abbot Kinney with Catherine until I saw that sign…
Available Inside (the Mystic Journey sign said) Spiritual & Astrological Readings Including Tarot Angel Cards I-Ching Numerology Aura Handwriting Analysis Palmistry Mediumship
To repeat, I believe in none of those technologies. But there were other items in that window, flyers in that window, announcing upcoming events in the bookstore. And they were more disturbing, if that is possible, than the technologies listed above. I won’t duplicate the complete text of those flyers here but will provide their essence and will show you actual photographs of those flyers to prove that I am not just having fun. And I am doing whatever I just said because on that otherwise peaceful Sunday morning, with Catherine, I was unable to just walk on by. “What is this nonsense?” I said. Call it an activation in my mind of the residual rational.
First flyer and a comment (forget analysis):
Master Channel and Psychic Medium Riz Mirza
And I can see them An enchanted evening with Master Channel and Psychic Medium Riz Mirza From India to New York to L.A. Riz Mirza’s unique gift of communicating with Spirit Guides has helped countless people to gain profound insight into Life, Love, Health, Career and The Universe. Ask any questions you may have! Come join us at Mystic Spirit Bookstore and experience an inspiring, powerful, and fun event. Bring a friend with you for this enchanted evening! [Date, time, locale, etc.]
Continuing now, here on my version of Earth, I say, What does that mean? Just a moment and let’s rub our eyes and look again. What could that possibly mean? My Earth is seismically active, faulted, has been littered at times with bottles of Scotch, vodka, cheap red wine, grass, mescaline and accidental LSD; but just what in hell does all that mean? Any of that mean? Master Channel…spirit guides…I can see them…spirit guides… that we all have? It was a most pleasant Sunday with Catherine. Why did I have to see that? No, we don’t have spirit guides; I don’t have them; you don't have them, Michelle and Barack don't have them. Does Riz Mirza believe this stuff? More sadly, does his audience believe it? Don’t you just hate the stench of sheep? Spirit guides? “This can’t be true,” I said. This has to be a put-on. So I searched the web for Riz and this is what I found: “Riz Mirza is a performance artist with roots in New York and New Delhi, India. He tours with the Builders Association.” I also found his performance artist photograph on the web, same photo as was on the flyer taped to the window of Mystic Journey. Same guy. So now I get it. It’s showbiz, a send-up, a goof. And if that’s true then maybe the Mystic Journey is, uh, a comedy club. Don’t question me, please. I’ve lived here forty years, and I was in, god help me, showbiz for a long time; and there are times when I still see things that way, it's still my lens, sad to say. So I called Mystic Journey Bookstore to talk showbiz with them, to have them confirm the joke that went: “Everyone has spirit guides; and I can see them.”
“Uh, I’m interested in Riz Mirza,” I said to the young woman who answered the phone. “Oh, yes.” “He’s a…is he serious or is it some kind of…is he an act, kind of a send-up, a goof on the, uh, spiritual, woo-woo, uh…” “What?” said the young woman. “I mean, uh, is he for real?” “Oh, yes,” said the young woman. “Oh,” I said. “So it’s not an act, parody.” “Oh, no,” said the young woman. “But,” I continued, “Have you seen, uh, Riz?” “No,” said the young woman, “But my mother has.” “Oh,” I said. “Thank you.”
There are two more flyers that require my comments (forget analysis), and I’ve missed my deadline for this issue by one day because of a false start trying to figure this nonsense and must move along. So here is my summation on Riz. He’s either a cruel bastard who, as a performance artist, is having some fun at the expense of the sheep and is being secretly recorded for a special on HBO or he believes that he sees spirit guides, in which case he’s delusional or, put another way, very religious. Thus endeth my take on Riz Mirza.
Essence of second flyer, forget analysis, and because of the time factor and missed deadline I will insert my comments in the copy in red and move along.
Experiential Soul Harmony ™ Healing Event
Come see how easy and graceful it can be I've never seen "graceful" used that way to instantly release barriers to success and experience a higher level of well being. An amazing new transformational healing technique, Reference Point Therapy (RPT), rapidly clears inner blocks to wellness and elevates consciousness, empowering you to make the changes you want now. RPT has proven to be the “missing piece” in the healing puzzle. What are the other pieces? Flight of birds? Reading pig entrails? It works by quickly revealing and healing at the point of origin the “seed” traumas that cause emotional and physical suffering—without your having to relive the trauma. Why does it have to be quickly? Why can’t it take time? What’s the value of speed in such serious matters? I’ve got to move along because of my missed deadline, but Shari is talking about life here. The result is an immediate why immediate, catching a bus? and lasting shift in awareness and a state in which physical ailments can change in an instant. Christ, I’ve had them all my life. Can’t I say goodbye? In recent sessions: Lifelong fears have been released. Relationships with food have been dramatically altered
Issues of self-love and abandonment have been resolved Chronic pain has been significantly alleviated or vanished Soul Harmony ™ Healer Shari Covens is one of the first U.S. certified practitioners of RPT, and creator of the “Awakening to Love” guided therapy process. “Awakening to Love” facilitates guided imagery process. “Awakening to Love” facilitates change by allowing you to experience oneness and the divine nature of your being. Combining these techniques results in a feeling of immense peace and bliss, and allows you to move forward with greater ease, clarity and confidence. If you’d like to release unwanted patterns and feel your absolute best, come learn why these healing methods are different. You’ll see a demonstration on a volunteer and experience your own transformational shift in a group healing process. You’ll also receive informational handouts and access to an MP3 of the Awakening to Love guided imagery process.
[Time, date, cost, etc.]
I’m sorry, but you’ll have to work on the balance of all that for yourself; I’ve got to move along and wish that I now had…"Yoga and the Writing Muse." The third flyer, event, and god do I need it and quick and if an incompetent personal trainer hadn’t screwed my back with the fucking cobra move from yoga I’d be signing up for, yes:
Yoga and the Writing Muse Let your writing breathe as your body flows
This creative and healing workshop (since ’94) allows hidden (or very present) which is it? I’m interested, but I'm in a hurry, which is it? voices in the body to speak through gentle dynamic movements and energizing writing exercises. Does beating my head against the wall work for you? That’s my favorite writing exercise. May I keep it? It's my old friend.
[Time, date, etc.] With (photo) Bea Ammisown, E RYT 500 That’s a yoga certification. I looked it up. First I thought it had something to do with NASCAR. Journalist: L.A. Times, Life Magazine, Voice Dialogue Facilitator, Certified Yoga Therapist
Learn to align different body parts with the intellect, the emotions and the spirit through a therapeutic practice and guided visualization. Inspire and uplift the muscles in brain and heart as well as in the body! I don’t’ know what any of that means; I’m sorry. Beginners and non-writers welcome. Please bring a mat and a notebook. Yoga and writing, mat and notebook. Got it. For more information call Bea…(unreadable)
That’s it. I don’t have any more. Exhaustion. No more flyers. End of comments. It was early on a Sunday morn on Abbot Kinney, in Venice, California, a stroll with Catherine. And instead of looking toward the sky, dawn, seagull, a circling L.A.P.D. helicopter, I glanced in the window of Mystic Journey. My mistake.
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